"Affection Is Desirable But Money Is Indispensable"

"Shrink: Move back or away in fear or disgust"
I have always been told that I have a slight disposition towards wearing my heart on, not just one but both my sleeves. That I let emotions get the best of me sometimes. As an antidote I have been suggested a healthy dose of realism. In real life you have to make decisions, often crude and unfair, and you have to make them not from your heart but from your mind. Real life itself has obligingly stepped in here on a number of occasions to support this notion.
My cousin just recently got married to a man ten years older than her. She felt his wealth sufficient enough to compensate for the lack of  affection. The scary thing is that she is right. Circumstances have the upper hand in this life and they can be harsh enough sometimes to break the soul, and render it emotionless anyways. It's an unavoidable truth and yet I shrink away from it. I, in the words of the Oxford dictionary,  "move back or away in fear.."

Here I'll honor my vow of "being true to myself" and instead of bravely and endearingly proclaiming to change myself  for the better in order to face this world. Ill admit myself lost. Yes I'm shrinking away.

"That I could think there trembled through
  His happy good night air
  Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew
  And I was unaware"

Ill take a leaf out of Thomas Hardy's book. The truth is staring at me right in the face, but I cannot face it.
I need more proof. 
  

Life Spelled Out

"Disguise: Alter in appearance or nature so as to conceal the identity of (a feeling or situation). VERB"

It’s a word we are all familiar with. One way or another we all conceal something, for better or for worse. It is certainly a word that I have an understanding with and it is funny that out of the 220,000 words in the English dictionary that I could randomly choose from with my eyes closed, I would choose this one to start my blog with. Because when I write here, I want to leave behind the disguises and concealment. I want to be true to appearance, I want to be my true self for once.
My every post will begin with a randomly chosen word from the dictionary, from which I will begin my tale or experience . I'm a strong believer in faith and an equally strong believer in the magic of words. And so I hope that combining these two will reflect my experiences in a way that the redundancy of my routine does not.
So lets see where this takes me.